20 things about returning to work

So I've done one whole week (well minus a day but who's counting?) back at work and here are 20 things about returning to work; some tips and some observations.  I'd love to hear any additions you have to my list!

1. Wear deodorant - I've been wearing deodorant for at least 15 years but for some reason on my first day back I completely forgot to apply it so spent the whole day paranoid that I smelt. Not the best move for a first day
2. Break in heels - so if like me you have been living in flats whilst looking after the children then I really suggest breaking in your heels. I was in pain by 9.30am and I was sat down most of the time! It really is worth getting used to heels before wearing them for a whole day!
3. Don't drink too much coffee - like when I first started work when someone asks if you want a tea or coffee I said yes... Big mistake especially as I usually drink decaf still so there were a few shakes going on with too much caffeine in my system.
4. Remember dresses ride up - so when I returned to work last time I was pregnant so this time I needed new work clothes. Lots of dresses looked nice in the changing room but I totally forgot about that annoying thing that dresses do... Ride up! Grr so annoying having to remember to keep pulling them down all the time.
5. Cake is all around - it's always someone's birthday. No matter how much you're "trying to behave" forget it, temptation is all around and of course you're back at work so you "deserve it". This week, this is the week that I will behave... Unlikely....
6. Some people will be more pleased to see you than you expect - I got a big hug from a woman that I didn't know that well and asked to see pictures of the kids. Great, more than happy to do this and always happy that people are pleased to see me but so surprised by who wanted to see them. I was a little shocked but it was a nice feeling. 
7. You have to be creative from the start - "ooh you had one of each, not need for anymore or anymore maternity leave" err awkward actually we've always wanted 3, cue a little nod from me and not saying a lot.
8. Everyone will assume you're sleep deprived and those parents who are will hate you if you're not - we've been lucky our kids sleep well and the only reason I was tired was because I woke early, not the children. But those parents at work who have been woken the previous night will stare at you with daggers. 
9. Some conversations will come to an abrupt end - "so are you working full time?" "Yes I am" ... End of conversation as there isn't really a lot to add.
10. You realise how big you must have been when you left - "wow... You looking amazing"  I obviously liked the compliment but they didn't need to sound quite so surprised.
11. It helps to remember your job title and team - when I returned to work last time I returned to a different role and team. When I then got introduced to people and they asked what I was doing I kept forgetting. Not very professional, it would definitely help to remember what you do and who you do it for.
12. You need to re learn how to sit in a chair - if like me you spend most of your time on the floor then you need to re learn how to sit in a chair. Especially one that swivels, I felt like the work experience kid who's never sat on a office chair before.
13. The adult conversation that you've "been missing out on" isn't that stimulating - at lunch time the conversation took a turn to talking about pickle and big or small chunks. Not the intellectual conversation that people like to make out that you've been missing out on then. 
    
14. There can be good banter - but you need to remember that some people will react as badly as your two year old. Oops! Must remember those sensitive types who can't handle a joke.
15. You quickly end up talking "business speak" - please don't hate me but I did use the phrase "touch base" this week. I cringed and shrunk in my seat a little as soon as I said it. 
16. Business is much like home - by this I mean you go back to find that budgets are being squeezed and the profit needs to improve. Much like home then. But at least my employer is still making a profit
17. You may need to work on your concentration - Particularly in a meeting which spends a lot of time on semantics rather than actually "doing" anything and you might find yourself planning your food menu... Or thinking up blog post ideas.
18. You have to talk to people you don't like - whilst on mat leave I got to spend a lot of time with people I like. Forget it when you get back to work, it doesn't matter whether you like them or not you have to be professional and get on with them
19. But you may also remember how many good friends you have there - I made the most of the first week at work and managed to have lots of coffee catch ups with some lovely friends. This reminded me what nice people I am surrounded by at work which makes leaving the kids that bit easier. 
20. But it'll never be as fun - I work for a good company but let's be honest it doesn't compare to spending time with your children, seeing friends, jumping in muddle puddles and generally being child like yourself! But it's worth trying to make the most of what ever situation you're in.