Mind the (age) Gap

As a parent there are certain topics that seem to spark hot debate; weaning, routines, discipline, dummies...  I could go on.  Obviously another big topic is the age gap between children.  My husband and I have a 15 month gap between our children and we love it.  Despite it being a planned gap (we know how lucky we are) it took me until some time after he was born to be completely comfortable with the age gap and know that we had made the right decision. A lot of this worry I had came from the reactions I got from people when I told them I was pregnant or people who didn't know me and saw a big bump and a young toddler.  The reactions ranged from "you're brave" and "I couldn't do it" to "oh you didn't waste much time" along with some people asking "was it planned?".  The problem is I also didn't know how to respond to these and still don't when people ask our age gap and give a reaction similar to the above.  Brave I'm not but I also don't think I'm stupid for having a relatively small gap between my children.  And when people say "oh you didn't waste much time" - What does that even mean?  I think when people say this to me I just stand speechless.  And when people ask if he was planned, yes thank you he was but it is also inappropriate people who have asked this question, my neighbour (who also told me his daughter was trying for another baby) and a colleague at work!

Our age gap isn't perfect for everyone for what ever reason but it has been perfect for us.  Some people I'm sure think that our toddler is missing out on attention from us but if that's true then all subsequent siblings must be missing out on attention but in our circumstance it actually means the opposite.  If we didn't have another then I would still be at work then she would be in full time day care but being on maternity I get to spend more time with her whilst she's young which was one major reason for having another.  We knew we could (just) financially afford it which I know not everyone can and were lucky enough that it happened for us, not a day goes by that we're not thankful for that.

It frustrates me so much in parenting more so than in any other aspect of life that some people think if you're doing it differently to them then it must be wrong, but we're all different with different circumstances.  There are all sorts of reasons for people having the age gap that they do between children and it's an incredibly personal thing.  When people make these remarks most of the time they're not thinking, like if they see a married couple and ask why they don't have children, for all they know they could have been trying for years.  If anyone has any great come backs for me then they would be welcome!  I need something to come back against the negativity!!  I just wish I hadn't spent so long fretting about the age gap and feeling guilty for my first born but then I think that's common whatever the age gap to worry because it's the unknown of what's about to happen and how the family dynamics will change.